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My sister has been having some issues with a friend. This friend has been in a relationship for the last few months and has been lying a lot about the amount of time she spends with her boyfriend. It wouldn't surprise me that Friend believes she is 'protecting' my sister when she claims to be going to sleep when, in fact, she is going over to Boyfriend's house.

Now, maybe it's just me and my sister and the way we were raised, but we can't stand liars. It's fine if Friend spends a lot of time with Boyfriend--my sister can totally understand that--but just tell her the truth.

Because the problem with deliberately deceiving people isn't the lie itself. It's not even the damage it does to the friendship (or "community", if you will), even though that's a big part. No, the damage is that I can no longer trust the liar. I must now constantly question whether or not I am hearing the truth from them. My sister's Friend may actually be going to sleep when she says that she is, but because of her history, my sister can't know for sure.

-----

So I say "whatever" to those that deliberately deceive. It's not morally wrong, I don't think. But it is a bitchmove. A major bitchmove. And I know I'm not a big fish, I know that no one really cares about or needs my affirmation, but I now think less of all those involved. Like I said: whatever.

One good thing that has come out of all this, though, is that it has greatly increased my respect for certain members of the community, namely Flanders and Rusty. Fight the Good Fight.


10 Responses to “”

  1. Blogger Pris 

    Out of curiosity, did those that add BoH to the MA know of it's true nature?

  2. Blogger lchan 

    I just read the Nine Moons post, Times and Seasons post, and Banner of Heaven's outing of themselves and was just trying to register how I feel about the whole fake blog.

    I've been sure for a long time that Aaron Cox was a joke and Jenn's posts lately have been really bizarre. I haven't believed Septimus' writing since he woke up in the hospital. Even before that I kept feeling like I've already read this story. I've even referred to BoH as "that fake blog with fake bloggers". So, it's not like I'm shocked or surprised.

    But, it also feels weird. I guess what I really thought was these people were being over the top and that some of it was true. All in all, it's just dishonest and I don't like it. I'm not hurt or upset, I just think it was a really weird thing to do.

    And, I'm sorry your sister is having a hard time with her "Friend".

  3. Anonymous Anonymous 

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  4. Blogger Pris 

    That is the worst spam comment I've ever seen. Doesn't even give a link.

    lchan: it doesn't surprise me either. I have quite a bit skepticism, but it goes both ways--I was actually more skeptical of the fake claims. When they repeatedly denied it, I thought that it actually was real. (Because why would they lie about something like that?)

    "Weird" is a good way of describing it.

  5. Blogger annegb 

    What's the MA?

    You know, weird is a good description.

    We had a friend of my daughter's staying with us because she supposedly didn't get along with her parents. Turns out she wanted to be able to tell us she was visiting her parents, who thought she was here, while she stayed with her boyfriend. I was mad.

    And I'm nice to her and it's over. But I don't believe a word she says now.

  6. Blogger annegb 

    I wrote that last post before I knew BoH was a fake blog. I never even suspected. I heard people say that and I just thought they were being unkind. LOL.

    I mean, at first, I was, "shit!" But the more I think of it, especially my sincere caring for them and trying to like Miranda, the more hilarious I think it.

    I know they didn't intend to pull a hoax on me personally, but I sure fell for it.

    I didn't fall for that girl's lies, though. I just put up with it because I knew she was leaving.

    Oh, life is interesting.

  7. Blogger Mike 

    I'm waiting for D-Train to weigh in here. Discussion of needless lies and what they may mean is something that we've kicked around before.

    Is a prank different than a lie? Is it somehow worse? Is it legit for people to never trust you after a prank.

    D-Train used to be king prank- the fake engagement, telling the new missionary that he and I were investegators and that we were more than just roommates...

    but he retired from pranking. for a number of reasons. Some of which do relate here.

    I have always kind of liked the idea of a fictional blog. However, I also thought that it would be clearly fictional. If I was more of a lit guy I would want to take classic characters from literature and have them participate in a group blog.

    What's the fun in a fake blog if you aren't making some bigger statement than a prank?

  8. Blogger annegb 

    D-train, king of the pranksters? Hmmm...let's get 'em. I will help you, I will, even though I love each and every one of those guys. They so have it coming.

  9. Blogger Arwyn 

    I obviously missed this when it was breaking news -- but it's no surprise when I've spent the last few months in a bubble.

    So, I'll disclaimer this question by noting that I've not yet had a chance to read all the hullabaloo at T&S, Nine Moons, or even the Banner itself.

    However, I've got to wonder...

    Pris (and all others): have you read Ender's Game? If so, what did you think of the kids -- Peter and Valentine -- creating alternate personalities (pen names, as it were?) by which they eventually took over the world?

    I've always thought that was a pretty cool concept. And from what little I have read, that's what this seems like to me (barring the 'take over the world' part).

    It could be that I'm so disconnected from all this that I don't care which individual is writing which ideas, so long as the ideas get o play out.

    It could be that I'm missing some major fact, some earth-shattering element that's causing everyone to be offended -- something above and beyond a bunch of well-concealed pen-names.

    Or it could be that this simply isn't the end of the world.

    I'll add here that I think lying is fundamentally wrong and spiritually damaging: that if I had such a persona created, and someone asked me directly, "Are you Arwyn?", I would own up -- not only because it's wrong, but because I'm a horrible liar.

    And maybe that's where the offense and the disgust begin, that folks didn't own up when originally called on it?

    Or is it possible to dismiss it as all in good fun, and keep a more wary eye out in the future?

  10. Blogger Pris 

    Arwyn: I have not read Ender's Game, so I can't speak to that directly. I do think there is a difference between using a pseudonym and creating a pseudopersona. Whether or not they are immoral/wrong depends on the context and forum.

    And yes, the direct lying when they were called on it is what really got to me--more than anything else.

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